I’m finally in a relationship with someone I really love, like so much it’s overwhelming sometimes. The relationship is beautiful, we have mature conversations and set boundaries, plan for the future and spend as much time as we can with each other despite the 4 hour drive between us.

The sex is great, I’ve never been able to be so myself in the activity as I am with him. I was celibate for a few years after a lot of trauma, this sex is so safe and freeing and the aftercare is always amazing too.

Here’s the thing though, I can’t cum too often. I still enjoy myself, and I honestly don’t care about cumming (I’m autistic and sometimes the amount of stimulation will make me shut down), plus we go at it for hours. His stamina is great. He knows his way around a vagina too, he’s trans so he’s had practice with the parts.

Our problem is that he feels selfish cumming without me. He can’t cum unless I do. I CAN cum, but it doesn’t happen very often, he’s made me before and I’ve made myself while masturbating but it just doesn’t happen often for me. He likes to cum, he wants to, but when he gets close he asks me how close I am and then he’ll lose the orgasm because I say I’m not there — even if I tell him it’s okay to cum and I want him to.

We have talked about ways to get around this but nothing is working. We’ve tried more foreplay for me, toys, different positions, masturbating together… but I just don’t cum often.

I’ve gotten over the whole “I must be broken” mindset, and he’s been so supportive, I just don’t know what else to do. I wish I could cum so he didn’t lose his own orgasm, but I promised to never fake it and I never want to with him because it feels like lying.

Any ideas???