We broke up because of the distance. Should I move?

Question

We’ve only been dating for 5 months but I really thought seriously about him and he did of me too. 
The biggest problem is that I can’t travel to him because my father is strict. I’m 30 and I want to move anyway. It would definitely cause problems in my family but I feel suffocated by my dad. I’d still be in the same country, just 2 hour flight away. 
Me and my bf/ex talked about me moving to where he is (a few weeks ago) and he really got excited. He really wanted me there and wanted me to move in with him. 
He came to visit me for the weekend and he said he wasn’t happy with the distance and it’s hard. He started crying. I had so many emotions but now I’m thinking “should I actually try to move there?”
At this point, we’re full on broken up, idk if I should even ask him if he would want me to move in? Moving will cause a huge problem in my family, but I really really feel like it’s effecting me and my mental health. I NEED to be away. 
What do you guys think and what would you do?

Answer

Hey. I'm also from an arab/middle eastern culture, so I understand your situation with your family very well. 
I honestly don't think you should move in with a guy you have known for 5 months, but instead move out to live on your own, so you can establish yourself and really know if you can do it on your own, because if you ever need to return home when you lived on your own will be little easier than returning after you lived with a guy.
If you do decide to make the move with this guy, you need to ask yourself 
1) what if it doesn't workout? 
2) will you be able to afford to live on your own?
3) will your family accept you back, if need be? 
I really understand you want your independence, but you need to work, have a home, and be 100% responsible for yourself. If you don't have that right now, then maybe it's best you stay with your parents and work on accomplishing these things before you do anything. 
My family is middle eastern, I was born and raised in the states, I did a few things they didn't approve of, but they were always(except my brother, he was more difficult but we now have an amazing reletionship) willing to let me back in, when I needed. 
Also just tbh with you when I got older I understood their perspective better, that's the culture they were raised in and it can be difficult to break society's norm and have an open mind about things that they see as traditional/religious etc etc. Also they get judged for their children's actions too.
Anyway, I really hope you the best on whatever you decide to do. Good luck🍀❤️🤍

Answer

I think you shiuld get away from home.
You're an adult. 39 years old! And your eletting your father rule your life. That's not right.
I'm not sure you should contact your ex. I'm unsure about the reason you broke up from what you're saying here and I'm also not sure it's the best decision to go straight from your home to his home.
If possible I think you would benefit most from creating your own space.
And if it causes problems in your family, then your family is the issue. Not you! Sounds pretty fucking toxic tbh.

Answer

I think with or without the man you need to move away. It’s not healthy or normal to be controlled by a parent at 30 years old. You are a grown adult. & you always need to prioritize your mental well being.

Answer

Your father is strict? You’re 30 years old. Not 16..

Answer

I think you should move away, but I don't think you should move in with your boyfriend. It's not just that 5 months can be too soon, but I think you guys haven't spend enough in-person time together to actually take such a big step. 
You would be getting out of a dominant environment and potentially into another.
 You should work on being independent and learning to be on your own. If your relationship is meant to be, you guys will work it out once you're fully independent.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. This sounds like such a tough scenario because you guys seem to really care for each other but logistics are in the way. Wishing you the very best!!!

Answer

Can you just get a place for yourself without the boyfriend for now and then get married later? At least having your own apartment can give you the space you need.

Answer

Will you always wonder “what if” if you don’t? Might be the one thing in life you wish you’d tried…

Answer

You should move but not for a man. You need to get away from your father and spend time growing as an individual.

Answer

I think you need to relocate it is unhealthy to be controlled by your father. You have a voice its your life. You shouldn't allow people to dictate your life.

Answer

Why is your father still controlling your life at age 30?? Sounds like you should’ve moved away a long time ago. Even if it’s not specifically for your ex to try and work things out, you need to move away. You need to become your own person and stop letting your dad control your life

We broke up because of the distance. Should I move?

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