People ask whats the matter. Why. What's happened. I can feel their frustration. My partner takes it personally and gets irritated. I'm crying alone trying to find the woman I was just yesterday when everything felt simple. My strong will has disappeared, I don't even recognise myself. I'm afraid, confused as to how I can feel like this and why nothing makes sense anymore. Trying to catch my breathe alone. It's the next day I wake up and begin to get ready for work. There's aggression as soon as I wake, because I looked at my partner the wrong way. He's running late and runs around cursing under his breath. I disconnect. Usually that's fine but today I can't get back into reality I'm stuck inside my head. I look at the time and I'm late I leave the house feeling like I'm just floating through a different reality, I arrive at my bus stop and burst into tears. I can't do this today. I can not. I need a hug someone to confide in. But I have no one. I do but I can't let anyone know I'm struggling and worry them too. I don't even know why I feel this way. How am I supposed to explain to anyone else. I call my boss in tears explaining I'm struggling. Thankfully she's very understanding. I drag myself to the shop mascara covering my cheeks, knowing I must buy washing liquid so I can do the dishes before he arrives home from work. I arrive back home, in my safe space, I break down. It feels good to cry and not be judged. I call my boss to say I've arrived home and I'm okay just not feeling right she's understanding. But yet I'm very concerned about my job. However today I will rest with no expectations on myself I feel the way I feel right now but it will pass. As scary as it is and how quick its comes on terrifies me. I hope tomorrow will be different

Xo