Am I the asshole?

So I’ve recently realized that I often end up dating two types of men. They’re either narcissistic, emotionally unintelligent, and some times verbally:emotionally abusive ment. The second type of men I date are typically very great guys who treat me amazingly, at least to the best of their abilities. The problem is they’re either very broken, dealing with internal struggles, not financially stable…

Things have been going well between my current bf and I. I can say this is the most healthy relationship I’ve ever had. But

I was feeling really down today and wanted to talk to him. I expressed that I would like him to call me more when we’re not around each other as he prefers to text. He told me that he’s with dealing as his brother is suicidal.

I completely understand and support him through everything but it made me wonder why I end up in relationship where I end up getting the short end of the stick emotionally.

I don’t want to be selfish but I feel like I give so much to people and it’s almost never reciprocated, partly because I’m often too embarrassed to be vulnerable but when I am, it’s often not reciprocated.

Edit:

I understand that his brother is suicidal, which is why I put my feelings aside to support him. Tbh I’m also going through similar issues and I haven’t been able to share that with him out of fear to overwhelm him.

Think I was trying to point out that every time I need emotionally support, he has something going on and I end up putting my feelings aside to support him. Not the first time I’ve been in this situation so I’m starting to wonder why I keep attracting these type of men in my life..