How to get someone to leave an abusive relationship?

Question

Before I get attacked, I know people have free will and they decide who to stay with but it breaks my heart how my mom treats my dad. She has diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder and also lashes out on me and my siblings and even put my sister in the hospital because of a severe panic attack because she terrorized her so much.
Currently she’s giving him the silent treatment after she told him how worthless he is and how she deserves better and how she’ll leave. She even went to a priest and she said the priest shook his head after she told him how horrible my dad is because my dad works long hours then stays late at night hanging with his friends which upset her because she “deserves” a husband who stays at home and I’m starting to think that my dad is out and about a lot to escape her bullshit. She said the priest told her that her husband is no good and she used that as a justification against my dad. 
She always threatens to leave but she never does. 
She always talks horribly behind my dads back and in his face, she disrespects him so much that she only sees him as a walking wallet. There’s no ounce of love or care towards him just what she can get out of him. I feel like my dad deserves way better. Unfortunately he has been through severe childhood trauma and sees how my mom treats him as how love is and how normal relationships are. He always makes excuses for her. I just wanna open his eyes that he deserves more but he won’t get therapy
Anything I can do even if it’s just one step to get my dad to change his mind? They’ve been together for 23 years.

Answer

try expressing to ur dad how bad it hurts u to see him being treated like that

Answer

Stockholm syndrome. Toxic. Narcissistic crap from your mother. Threats and abuse is all that she knows. She’s only nice when she wants something. I have a mother like this so I know. Unfortunately it has to come from him eventually getting tired of it and finally doing something himself. There is no reasoning or negotiating or anything. They have to be right. Get there way. Or no one is happy. Saying no to them. God help you. Narcissistic people choose weak people and get they can abuse more. Someone who is a people pleaser. Who tries to keep the peace. Who gives in just to avoid fights and arguments. Who has trauma etc they would never pick someone who would correct them or not give in to what they want. The bully seeks out the weak one. Who they can use and take advantage of and abuse. Until he grows a backbone, it’s gonna always be like this. The world thinks they are mother Teresa but at home it’s hell. I know exactly what you are going through. Can’t negotiate with a terrorist. Leaving is the only option.

Answer

There’s nothing you can do. You’re probably going to have to seek counseling yourself because of the domino affects of her narcissistic behavior. This is just one of the unfortunate realities of being in abusive relationships. The children do suffer, and unfortunately not all toxic relationships, and they just continue. I really hope your father gets the help that he needs in order to over come this and be secure enough with himself to leave. ￼ But until then heal your wounds take care of yourself, because you’re not going to be able to take care of him if he can’t take care of himself.

Answer

I would just ask him to leave her, if he won’t do it for himself ask him to do it for the sake of his kids.

Answer

You can only tell him you know he deserves better and you would wish he could see his own worth and leave her.
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Unfortunately.

Answer

This sounds identical to how my Dad was to my Mom and us kids! 💔 My Mom never left, they stayed together 33 years. He died last year. So I don’t know how to answer the question. It was worse for my mom, she couldn’t leave because he controlled her money. She misses the good parts of him but also feels so incredibly free now. I feel bad because of course I loved him because he was my Dad, but I’m relieved for my mom and in some ways I miss him but in a lot of ways I don’t. 🥺

Answer

From experience, although its not right, they will most likely stay together. My mom and stepdad have been together for 20years and my mom is similar to yours. When that is all they know it’s hard to talk sense to them. Many times in the past my parents would fight and get me involved by complaining or talking bad about each other to me. I always told them to just get divorced. PLEASE.. If your parents are anything like mine, if you say anything they will band together and act like they don’t have any issues. It got to the point I just asked that they not involve me. Definitely try to talk to your dad, if anything to understand his point of view. But be aware that you could be vilified for it. Sorry you’re going through it. Best of luck❤️

How to get someone to leave an abusive relationship?

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