Ladies, are you in for sex without foreplay?

I've been married for 7+ years, we were both virgins, never had any sexual experience with anyone else. That being said, we were learning along the way of course. Hubby was very touchy before marriage, but we were keeping sex for marriage, we kissed a lot, made out, he'd hold me by my waist a lot, and just was touchy, but as soon as we got married and had sex, it all stopped. What was left was just the sex, no kisses, no touching, just straight to sex. He also doesn't like any lingerie, just tells me to come to him completely naked. I don't feel emotionally connected, I always feel used after having sex. It's always lube, no foreplay whatsoever, only when I ask for it and it's not even foreplay, just a kiss or two and he's trynna go for it, AND IT HURTS and I tell him that straight up and he just grabs the lube. I've had talks with him asking him to kiss me and hold me, I'm not yelling at him whatsoever I just tell him I really need that to get things going cuz otherwise I'm just not physically ready to have sex. There were a few times he tried changing things up but he kept rushing I just couldn't relaxing, I had to ask a few times that he draws back cuz I'm still dry down there. At times he'd even force it down dry and then quickly pull it back out when I'd scream from the pain.

I lack affection, and it's sick that I have to ask for it and be so straight up about it, feels as if I'm making him do something out of his will yet knowing what he loves in bed I continually give it to him going out if my way to pleasure him. I want to be wanted, not to be used for sexual purposes.

AND THE MOST DIFFICULT PART IS THAT I'm so confused, cuz otherwise he's such a good dad and husband, he takes excellent care of us and our home, he works very hard and we both enjoy our company and spend so much time together. I have tried so many times to talk about this issue but every time I'm given the silent treatment. I just don't understand what is wrong and how else to go about this issue.

I found myself hating sex now, I feel like my libido just dropped below the Marianas trench. I desire my husband so much, he is a very attractive and sexy man. That being said, I am a fit, healthy, toned woman as well, I try my best to be attractive.

Can someone please tell me am I expecting too much, is there sex without foreplay?