My dad is not someone who talks about his feelings. He’s always been the “tough guy”. His mom is very sick right now and is needing a lot of care which is very stressful to him. He is pretty much retired now but he’s done a couple side jobs. So he hasn’t made a ton of money, but he recently did a stock trade that he was very confident in (he’s usually good with these), and he ended up losing all the money he’s made in the last year. His depression has hit an all time high.

He has not stopped drinking for weeks now. We live with my parents. He’s even drinking first thing in the morning. I work from home. He came over while I was working today and started venting (he did think I was off work by then but he did stay anyway which was ok.. that’s just how much he had to vent bc he usually wouldn’t do that).

He started venting to me 2 weeks ago. He’s never vented about this sort of thing to my brother and I. I’ve seen him cry a handful of times in my life. This is the second time I’ve seen him cry in 2 weeks. He was telling me he’s going to call soon to change his life insurance policy and fake his death as a heart attack and was very detailed in explaining how he would do that and how he has 3 months bc his life insurance policy will go down so he has to do it soon so my family makes money. I obviously started crying telling him we would not take that money and how much we love him and need him here

He is so opposed to therapy. Remember, he’s the “tough guy”. He doesn’t need to pay someone $150 an hour to talk about stuff he already knows (his words)

He tried anti depressants 15 years ago and he said that made things x100 worse. It made him suicidal so he had to quit right away. He doesn’t want to try again. I told him there are dif kinds, he doesn’t want to try

I don’t know what to do. Our family really is pretty big drinkers but I told him we’d quit drinking and if he wants to with us, we’d love that (I’ve talked to family about it before). I told him I’m quitting in 2 weeks anyway since I’m ttc. I know the alcohol is making things so much worse for him.

Does anyone have any advice on what we should talk about with my dad when my family meets with him? How can you get someone help who is refusing it? I’m hoping us all coming together will make him consider it but I’m not so sure