My husband and I have quite a lot of issues from my point of view, and very different ways of handling (or not handling) conflict. We got close to considering divorce in December, so I asked him if we could go to marriage counselling with a psychotherapist. We also both had very traumatic and abusive childhoods. Important to note, he doesn’t feel that our marriage has big issues, mostly because I’m the one who compromises or apologizes usually.

We’ve been to three sessions in the past two months, and it seemed to be going really well - just starting to learn communication tools and having some nice conversations - but then today he suddenly said he doesn’t want to continue.

He said he’s “not the type of person” who can go to therapy for a year, and he’ll go to 2 more sessions but no more after that. I asked him to explain why he dislikes the sessions so much, but he said he can’t explain, he just won’t go anymore. When I pushed him he said he could *maybe* go 4 times in a year. I reminded him that I feel this is essential to our marriage, and he said he understands that and he loves me but he just can’t do more therapy.

I feel that stopping therapy means he refuses to work on our marriage (and care about my needs in our marriage), which would be a dealbreaker for me. I’m scared of divorce, but I think it might be the only way for me to honour myself and my needs.

What do you think? Anyone here who has been through marriage counselling and thinks 4 times a year can work? Should ending regular therapy be a dealbreaker? Are we heading to divorce? Is my ask unreasonable?