I need motivational advice, I feel like I’m loosing myself in motherhood

I know nobody is perfect. I am SAHM. I don’t drive and have no family closer to us. Sometimes I feel guilt that I don’t give all my attention to my son. I am lucky even if I manage to brush my hair for once a week. I cook home cook meals. But now babe is 15 months and very mobile, I feel like it just gets harder. Sometimes at night I feel guilt. Sometimes I scream because of exhaustion. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking to go overseas where my family is at so I can have somebody to raise my child. My husband is such a workaholic. I don’t see any clear direction for us. He works as he goes. We are at the moment where we need to watch out how much we spent and sometimes scape a meal but I have to make sure babe is eating as much.

I’m just happy if I have people around so I don’t put myself down.