In a dark place…💔 ..

So i been dealing with alot.. babys father left me with 2 babies… he says he doesnt love me or wanna be with me anymorr.. he says im crazy.. ugly fat.. etc that nobody is going to want to be with me anymore cuz i got fat after the babies.. i feel alone raising these kids on my own.. i have a 3 year old and a 11 month old.. I thought i was gunna have a nice family beautiful and live happily.. ever after but i gues not .. i havent been eating , been depressed and just want to cry everyday i go to work and i wanna just cry in the bathroom… come home and not happy .. my oldest son been noticing i have been crying and i think it’s affecting him.. i need help i need something to be happy again i need pills i need idk to run away … 💔and bury myself