My husband and I have been ttc for almost two years now. I've been pregnant twice within that time, but have lost both due to miscarriage. My first loss was in march and my last loss was in October.

I've been having dreams where I'm giving birth and then there my baby is, my beautiful baby. I hold them and I cry and I kiss them, this most recent dream I even nursed my baby. When I wake up I'm sad because it was a dream. I can't get these dreams out of my head, it replays over and over, it makes my heart ache for my babies. I'm so ready to be a momma. The hurt of a miscarriage is sometimes unbearable. You think I would have known what the gender was today, I would have been holding my baby for the first time today, you long just to hold them and Kiss their little heads. Seeing babies and hearing about pregnancies, makes my heart ache in memory. I'm so happy for all of the new life, but painfully reminded of our loss of life, a precious life, my baby's life. My heart breaks every time I think of it. I know it's all in God's hands and He will provide the desires of my heart when it is time. I just pray that He not let me go through another miscarriage. All you can do in these situations is pray that you will soon be blessed, but you must keep in mind that it will be on His time and not your own.

I share this partly to relieve myself, but more so to help another. I know how it feels to lose your baby that you long for so much. I know the emptiness you feel. I know how it feels to fall pregnant again after a miscarriage, the amazement and excitement replaced by fear. You're afraid to become attached, but you will because that's your baby growing inside of you. You pray that everything will be ok. Then it happens again. The pain is back, only momentarily covered by your love and hope. Remind yourself it's all in God's hands and the devil is a liar! It's hard, but don't you ever give up hope. You will get your blessing in God's time.

Sometimes, it can be comforting knowing you're not the only one bearing this pain, sad, but strangely comforting. Stay strong and don't give up, you will be rewarded!

My prayers are with all of you, God is able.

❤Jennifer