Adults family birthday wishes are sending me over the edge

So exhausted and my family just keeps asking for quality time.

I have a large extended family and my sibling and myself are the only one with kids. It's been traditional to gift gives on birthdays but everyone keeps asking instead of gifts for one on one time. I just don't have the time for that. People keep getting upset and I keep explaining I legit don't have the resources energy or financially to do things there is only so many hours in a day.

I have two young children and I am a stay at home mom my husband works 60 hours a week. I am also pregnant and have 2 appointments every week. I run daycare from my home 4 days a week. I also have one child is sports and I take my neice to her sports in the evenings. I am exhausted.

I don't get enough sleep and I also have an autoimmune condition and I am continuously in pain so bad that it's hard to do basic tasks.

I legit needs help with day to day life and I have no help my mom is handicapped paralyzed and needs my help and I'm so spread thin I can barely help her.

To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement and when I say this to extended family it's like crickets. Yet I'm supposed to find the time to celebrate someone's birthday for a whole day. I'm sorry it's not a milestone and you don't have kids I just think it's a bit much. I get your world revolves around being selfish but I don't have that luxury. I didn't even celebrate my birthday. My husband and I haven't had a date in 9 months because we legit don't have childcare or the time. If I have to pay for a sitter with money I don't have I'm not spending it on a grown ass adult who just wants to be spoiled. I just find it absurd.

I've tried having conversations about realistic expectations of people and it's falling on deaf ears.