Babies before career? Or not?

Question

I recently graduated from college and cannot find a job in my desired field. There are jobs available, just not locally. I would have to move to get a job. Meanwhile I'm working online. Doing some freelance work and running my own business. My bf also graduated from college and has steady work and has many job opportunities in this area.  
​
​Does it make sense to have kids before I find a job so I can devote all of my time to them since I work from home. And then relocate for work  when they are a few years old? Or would it make sense to start a job and then stop for a few years to take care of them?  
​
​Has anyone had a similar situation or thoughts on this?

Answer

DH an I are 35, trying for #1. We spent the last 15 years building on our careers but now when we tried to build our family, we're struggling. I had stupidly assumed that ttc would be easy. I wish I had the advise of all these wonderful women on Glow when I was younger and realised that there are things a lot more important in life than a good job. I wish I had made the move to ttc in my mid-late 20's and thought about career at the age I am now as I have 30 work years ahead of me. Things are always easier with hindsight. GL to you

Answer

I think the reality for many women today is that they will work outside the house at some point and if you want children you will likely take a break from work. I've had friends at both age 'extremes' have children and there are benefits to both. Since I had my first child at 33 I have returned to work part time, taken a demotion and earn     $70 000 less than I did before. But, I wouldn't change it for the world! I figure children are only young for a short period of time whilst I probably have at least another 30 years of work to look forward to (eek). There's plenty of time to get ahead then ( and I love my job!). I'm studying as a postgraduate part time now as well. But one thing I can suggest you think about is that working from home with a young baby may be manageable but with a toddler it's a nightmare! GL!

Answer

There's no perfect time. I put trying for my 2nd on hold to get further in my career and closer to buying a house, and its my biggest regret in life. In a few months we will have been trying a year and I'll be almost 32. I wish I had known how difficult it would be as I got older. It was so easy the first time--unplanned! I put the single most important thing in my life on hold for material wealth. It was a stilupid decision for me.

Answer

If you have the baby first, make sure your knowledge will not become irrelevant in your field in the time being. You may need continuing education to catch up. 
​
​Honestly, do what's best for you. I graduated college and deferred my PhD program for a year to have my daughter (I worked as an engineer during that time and kept myself current on publications in my field--astrophysics--to stay on top of things). Now I'm 3 years into my PhD and TTC so we can have #2 before I finish so I'm not looking for a post-doc position while pregnant. 
​
​Just make sure you are aware of what it will take to get back to being competitive for a job in your field after all that time away.

Answer

I would go with baby first, and I will explain why, from practical point of view it should be vice versa but..!!! Once you do have a serious job and opportunities -lots of couples finding difficulties to fit "kids/family thing" into busy schedule and you want to grow and get promoted ... And it's fine with it.. But your best younge years are going to past and we all know younger body will deal with healthy pregnancy more successful.Plus stress

Answer

I am in a similar situation as you! I am out of college a few years ... Graduated with a degree in graphic design and do a lot of freelance work along with another job, but like you, the great opportunities are not in my area much.  My husband and I are TTC  our first baby now for about 6 months--and my whole family has conceived in a couple months tops so I naturally thought I'd be the same... It def is a personal preference if you wait Or not  but so many people tell me that your never fully prepared... Or in the perfect spot in life... As there's always something.. Just my thoughts

Answer

Any suggestions on how to discuss this with the bf?  I don't want to come off the wrong way?

Answer

I think you can go either way. If you want to be a stay at home mom, you will likely be a little behind in your career whether you put it off a few years or take a break once you've started. It's really your call, so follow your heart! :)

Answer

I met my husband shortly after I started grad school. We got married about a week before I graduated. I was about 2 months pregnant. The only career I have ever had is "Mom". I wouldn't change it for the world, but I know it isn't for everybody. 
​
​The hard part about choosing career later is that you may fall behind the new graduates who have just learned the latest and greatest and are eager to get the jobs. You may find it a lot harder to compete with those people. Another thing you may want to think about is health insurance. You can get Medicaid if you have nothing else and you are pregnant; but you may feel more comfortable with a plan from your employer. 
​
​If you are thinking you would like to be a working mom, I think career first is a better choice. By the time you are ready to have a baby, you will probably have been promoted and feel more comfortable taking maternity leave and have the finances to support your needs.

Answer

I am in the same boat as you! I would like to have kids as young as possible but I also want the backing of a steady income as well so I'm just as lost!

Babies before career? Or not?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey