How do you cope with the ttc pressures?

Question

Seriously how does everyone do it, or am I the only one going completely batshit crazy right now??? For the past 2 weeks, or slightly more, I've been crying all the time. I mean 20-30 times a day. Sometimes I'm set off by seeing a preg woman, newborn baby, people talking about it etc and sometimes I'm not sure why I'm crying!?!? We went away for a week and I cried everywhere!! It ruined our trip and made me hate it!! I know I've got a lot going on in the ttc space that's getting to me, but I can't seem to go with the flow like normal. We've been ttc for over 2 years now, although I know there's lots of people ttc way longer. We're waiting for test results and to book in IVF or IUI (what we do is dependent on the test results) - out apt is in May and that'll be a few months between apts. A very close friend got preg their first month ttc, and due to my own ttc issues I wasn't very supportive and told her not to get offended when I walk away when she's talking babies - but she MC a few days later. I know I didn't cause the MC, I can't help but feel guilty as hell!!! I've got endo, am 10 months post op but the pain is back with a vengeance 3 out of 4 weeks a month. To top it off I can't get away from preg woman and I know 5 people that are preg now and almost 10 that had babies in the last 3 months. Oh and I work with teenagers, 1 of who recently had a termination (not against them just ses like the universe is rubbing it in my face). Since my surgery 10 months ago my hormonal mood swings around AF have been off the charts, but they normally last a few days tops. Now I feel like I've had over 2 weeks of that. Anyway, I'm feeling very depressed, I'm not eating properly and I don't want to do anything. I've had depression several times before and it's like it's back. How do you do it!?!? P.S. Please don't tell me to relax, as we have tried this for almost 2 years with only a few months using OPK's etc.

Answer

*hug* I can sort of understand. I've had serious baby rabies recently. I cry or get touched at the most awkward times. I feel like we already put this off a year longer than I wanted because DH needed spinal fusion, and I wanted him to be able to hold and carry his baby, so we waited to try until he was fully healed.
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​Since we've started trying, I've had a couple of friends announce pregnancy, as well as my SIL. I was really glad she used a text message. I'd have hated for her to see the face I gave the phone as I read the news and assume I wish her any ill will, nor did I want to explain a phone silence as I did when my sister got pregnant the year of my wedding. (I was happy for her, I was just a little jealous that she was having a second before I even had my first...and she's my younger sister.)
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​I'll be praying for you, and hoping you conceive soon!

Answer

If you think that you're having symptoms of depression, I suggest you talk to your doctor about it. Sometimes, if we feel like we pretty much tried all the natural remedies to relieve stress or depression and nothing seems to work, a little help from anti depressants wouldn't hurt. I work in L&D and seeing expectant moms and babies always triggers those feelings. It is hard to be supportive when you know that you are struggling to have your own. Good luck and baby dust to you

Answer

I was the same and finally got ttc out of my head. But after only a short time it was back on my mind 24/7. I stopped coming on these apps unless I was recording symptoms and that helped. But I was studying and really busy so that kept my mind off it, that's pretty much the only reason I was able to stop thinking about it so much and to start focusing on living. I'm hoping to get back there and I hope you can too!!

Answer

I completely feel you, MissJelly. TTC is on my mind 24/7! I cant get away from it, even if I try to relax. Its literally in my every waking moment and in my dreams. 
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​There will be 2 baby shower invites for me upcoming in the next 2 months and im just dreading it! How can I politely decline without seeming like an unsupportive jealous b!+(h? I just cant right now. 
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​Im trying to focus on the positive in my life and truly i am blessed, but that doesnt make the hurt and longing any easier. 
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​For me, it is a constant struggle.

Answer

J, you know you're right. I'm home sick today - just a cold - and I got the chance to watch the news. It really made me think I should be happy for what I have now. It doesn't mean I'm giving up but it made me think I could miss out on allot in life by sulking about something I want but can't control, may never happen or may take a further 2 and a half years. I thought the amount I could miss out on in that time. Like you said, it's all perspective and the way you look at things - if I try to focus on the positive instead of the negative I'll have less of a reason to smile!!! So thank you. Good luck to you too xx

Answer

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. We have also been TTC for a year and a half. It's so rough! Honestly, when you want something do badly it's hard not to get down when you don't get it. 
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​My husband constantly tells me to relax & look at everything we have. I agree that it's aggravating to constantly hear that. However, it's true. I'm been depressed about TTC as well and I have to force myself to look around me & be so grateful just for the life we live. Everything is about perspective. That's advice I always tell people but never take myself. Until now. Stress is just going to make all of this that much harder. 
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​Good luck. I hope all works out for you.  Xo

How do you cope with the ttc pressures?

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