Feeling down :(

My AF suppose to come on 1st May. I took pregnancy test just now and its turned out to be negative. I just feel give up. Last month my AF late one week an before that i took several pregnancy test and all the test is BFN. So this month when I got BFN for one time I already feel give up because I know this month is not my month. Why when we want a baby so badly and its very hard to get. I feel envy when my friend got pregnant and I'm not. When they update their status on fb. I feel excited for them but deep inside my heart i feel sad because I'm not pregnant like them. Feeling so down right now. And I think AF will come on 1st may. Arghh I just wanna scream my lungs out :((