How to cope?

Question

My brother in law and his girlfriend of 6 months just announced they are pregnant. Not planned at all. 
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​Although i want to be happy for them and ensure them that everything is going to be okay and that This is the going to be the best thing happening to them, ever ... 
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​... But inside i'm breaking. I just want to cry. I so wish it was me after 12 months TTC.  
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​I can't cope.
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​How do I deal with this?

Answer

I fell pregnant 2years ago along side my sister and cousin, just a few weeks apart.. I unfortunately misscarried and they both have beautiful boys that I love very much.. Got married last September and we've been trying ever since.. I've had 4 cousins just give birth and my younger brothers wife is now pregnant with a handful of friends also pregnant. Surrounded by pregnant family and friends.. I've become quite sad depressed almost.. I deleted my facebook cause I was sick of seeing posts about it.. Somehow we must go on and be strong... My doctor said to be happy within it helps a lot so try be positive and happy i manage to smile through it and let it out to my husband at home.... It helps to talk.. :) wishing you all the best!

Answer

My sister in law both found our we were pregnant in the same week...they weren't trying and weren't crazy about having another baby....we were so excited! My other sister in law was about 6 months pregnant at the time and wasn't really with her boyfriend when they got pregnant, and certainly weren't planning it. I lost mine at 7 weeks due to an ectopic rupture. This was our first. Both sisters in law have perfectly healthy babies/pregnancies. It is SO hard to cope. We have been trying since but no luck. I know how you feel :(

Answer

When I had my MC in June 2013, I found out my hairdresser, niece and best friend also had MC's within 4 weeks of me.  At this very moment all three of them are about 4-6 months pregnant....everyone, that is but me. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to try to be enthusiastic for them, with Facebook post after Facebook post about the kicking, baby showers, and generalized pregnancy stuff.  Realistically, sometimes I feel like I'm just treading water keeping my head above trying to be positive.  It has been almost 8 months TTC again and I have to believe that my time is coming.  My best advice to try to be as happy as you can for them, but also give yourself room to cry, indulge in a glass of wine when you need it and if necessary, distance yourself if only momentarily if you need to. Take care girl and know you are not alone.

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