How to get over the "cheating" past???

Question

Does anyone have a bf/fiancé/husband who does not get over the past? Does he bring up the past all the time? Which in the long run just ends up pushing one another away. The past hurts me and him both . I wonder if it is ever going to get better. I wonder if counseling would help us at all. I love him and he loves me but the past eats at us at certain time. How do you turn it around for that second instead of saying something dumb and the fight ends up worse. It not fair that I have to hurt cuz he hurts but I care about his feelings so I guess it would be wrong of we didn't hurt. How do couples move on after one has cheated on the other one? What is the key to success? Thanks for your patients to read this.

Answer

It's hard it took me and bf a long time, we talked it out multiple times, we talked it to death, and we said that we both have to let it go and eventually he did, I told him everything and showed him my phone and told him I'm not hiding anything and I told him we can't keep talking about it or else we can't move forward. We check in with each other and I know how he feels cuz he's been cheated on a lot by girls so I'm very patient. He probably has really bad trust issues like mine did. But I kept telling him and opening up and I deleted some social websites to show that I'm serious about our relationship. Make sure he don't force you to do something you don't want to do, like I told him after a while I'm not showing him my every day and he understood but he trust me now. We are almost 3 years in now. It takes time and it took me a lot of energy to deal with it but it was worth it and we are both happy, figure out what you want to do.

Answer

if I were you, I'd go to a counsellor, this allows you to keep the discussion in check without it rising to an argument!! trust is so important!! gl!

Answer

Well I think restoring trust in your relationship is the first and most important step and if you both want to  grow and move forward in your relationship then you both need to be able to let the past go meaning forget about it completely like as if it never happened so that it won't get constantly brought up.. This obviously takes the both of you but someone has to be the bigger person to settle it once and for all and make a pact to not bring it up anymore so that it can stop hinderencing your relationship. Forgiveness is a huge factor because if you both have forgiven one another then it will be easier to let it go.

How to get over the "cheating" past???

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