Sad news, how to respond?

Question

I had some awful news today. I wasn't sure where to post this but I'm hoping for a little advice. 
​In a childminder, and one of the kids I look after, her mum was expecting a baby, she is 24weeks along, but the baby wasn't moving, went for emergency scan and there is no heartbeat :( she has to get drugs to induce labour. I'm absolutely devastated for her and her family. I feel worse because I'm pregnant too, nearly 20 weeks, and she is going to be around me in the coming months watching my pregnancy progress and mourning the loss of her baby. I've cried so much for her today. 
​How do I respond to this, is it normal to send a card or flowers? I want to show I care without making it any harder... I just can't believe it. You take for granted that everything will be ok after the scans at 12 and 20 weeks... There are no obvious reasons for her loss. :( x

Answer

Flowers are nice. I lost mine at 4 mos and had friends pregnant 4 mos too, and I appreciated them thinking of me. Somebody sent me an edible arrangement of fresh fruit which I appreciated a lot since there wasnt a lot of eating going on during that time.
​ I hope that you will understand that your friend will prob distance herself from you for a while, that's what I did. 
You are a very kind and sensitive soul . I'm so very sorry for your friend, and sorry that you are feeling so bad during a happy time in your own life. I wish you nothing but the best, and a quick and healthy delivery ???

Answer

I'm a nanny as well, and actually went through something similar a few months back. My boss was only 10 weeks when she had a missed miscarriage, and it was so devastating. I gave her a hug, a card, some flowers and some space. I told her that I was there to talk with her about it, or I could be a safe place for her if she didn't want to talk about it. Someday we would talk about it for hours. Others, it was if it hadn't happened. But I never brought it up, as I know that's how my boss (and friend!) works best. I can't imagine the pain you all must be going through with her being farther along, and with you also being pregnant. It's so hard when you want to help, and yet you feel so helpless. Sending love to you and the family.

Answer

Agree with the other posts. What sad news for you all.

Answer

I would just send flowers and a card. Nothing over the top but it's still thoughtful.

Answer

just send her a card and some flowers with a note saying that you are there for her whenever she wants. there are no words that could ease her pain.

Sad news, how to respond?

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