Emotional Roller coaster

Today I have been the worst emotional wreck... I've honestly been crying all day. I dunno if it's AF making her appreacnce next week and my hormones are all crazy or what. It's so frustrating that we're been trying for a few months and NOTHING has happend. I just wanna be a happy pregnant woman, I'll take the big belly, I'll take the stretch marks, morning sickness, and I'll even let anybody touch my stomach when I start to show. I just wanna see the look of excitement on my boyfriends face when I tell him the news. I have dreams about it. His family is coming to visit this summer and if would just LOVE to tell his mom and dad about out bundle of joy, but unfortunatly it's not that easy. My biggest wish right now is to have a baby with this wonderful loving man. It's so frustrating And depressing. I feel like such a failure. I can't help to get pissed off every time I see people who should not be parents with kids. Like when I watch the news and hear about how somebody abusing there children I always feel this guilt because it makes me question my faith. Why do they get to have kids they don't want and why do people who hope and pray for a child aren't given those babies.... I'm sorry so long. I just really needed to get it out of me and tell anybody.... Maybe I'm not alone.....