Jealous husband

My husband and I have been on a tiff for the past month. He thought his best friend and I were having sex in my house while he was at work. First if all his friend was my friend first and I introduced them and they hit it off now they are more friend then we ever were. Yeah he is a very good looking man I have admitted to have dreams about this guy but my husband know I would never cheat. I lost my virginity to him and he is my first real relationship. Why!!!!! It got really bad the other night. He pushed me around and I was bawling cause I didn't feel safe so I locked myself in my kids room and had to push the dresser I front of the door. I was so scared. He is the kind of guy that has bad anger issues and when he is mad he has to let it out. I have told him when you are mad just walk away and we even saw a counselor. He simply can't. He apologized like every minute of the day after but I just don't trust him. I simply can't. And he is upset at me cause I am. It attracted to him cause if how he treats me and I won't tell him anything. But how do I get through to him that what he does just isn't ok and he need to know that his actions have consequences. I don't want to make love to him because I simply can't love someone I'm kinda scared of. I have told him multiple time if you push me around like that again and I feel like I'm in danger I will defend my self because I will choose my life a thousand times over yours. He says he will never hurt me and he just wanted me to talk to him cause I kept walking away but I'm not so sure he won't hit me I mean pushing is like next door to hitting. I'm not trying to divorce him we've only been married four months. I knew he was an angry person and I guess his dad and grand pa are too so I'm guessing it's genetic.  But I can't do this. Arguing everyday. I love him but he just doesn't understand that if I feel this way it's cause of him. And all because he thought I was cheating just because his friend is very attractive.  He is just insecure about himself and I'm suffering from it.