Am I being selfish

Need some help I'm really struggling at the moment . I have been tryig to conceive for around 2 years. In jan I found out I was pregnant you can imagine how happy I was after trying so long. At 8 weeks pregnant my best friend ( who had just came off her pill month previous) she to was 8 weeks pregnant . Straight away I felt scared as if I knew something bad would happen to me. That night I ended up in hospital . And went on to have a missed miscarriage. I felt sad as I knew this would happen to me who had wanted it so badly. I never got any messages off her asking how I was or saying nice things which hurt me. I got a text when she was going for her 12 week scan saying how excited she was which hurt me I should have been going for that to . I told her and her partner I was feeling low and when I came around could we please avoid talking pregnancy as it was not nice for me I got a reply saying she had tried to understand how I must be feeling. Anyway in the April we were going to America together which I found so hard. Looking at her bump knowing that should be me to . I felt they were a bit insensitive on holiday going in baby shops and talking about babies. I thought yeah I understand there excited but did they have any idea how I felt. Anyway after our hols I decided to keep my distance. I felt not being around them made it easier for me it stopped reminding me of what happend to me and were I should have been. I never heard from them and I used to see them every few days. He then went on to delete me on Facebook and when I messaged him asking why his response was he didn't think I was speaking to him as hadn't seen him since holidays. I felt sad as it wasn't just me who hadn't made the effort it was them also and I only had to try to focus positively on my life. Few comments were wrote on her status which made me sad about how happy she was etc and they baby. Anyway last night she had her baby early . I seen the photos on Facebook and am just totally devastated. I literally could cry andc. Ant stop looking at the photos of how perfect there  life is now and how long I have wanted this so badly. I'm really struggling at the moment ax I feel like it's just been rubbed in my face. I know it's a jealous thing but I just can't stop thinking she was my best friend and how insensitive about the full thing she has been . I just don't think she understands how I feel. Am I really being selfish