Just need a little rant

I literally have no idea where I am into cycle. I had strange spotting at the beginning, and haven't managed to catch my lh surge yet. Idk whether it was spotting, or af, but I'm feeling so bummed out today. I just want af to start so I can start over!! I'm not trying to symptom spot, but I've got all kinds of crazy stuff going on, that just doesn't add up. Soooooore boobs, headaches, stretchy cm, bleeding gums, tired, achy body and negative hpt's and opk's! My DH even says my "girls" have gotten significantly bigger (which is true and I hadn't even said anything to him about it.) cramping/abdominal pain and lower back achy-ness.