Anyone else not finding our gender

We are not finding out gender, I would, though I think the surprise will be amazing, but DH really doesn't want to know. I thought I was fine with it until I started looking at baby stuff and nursery ideas and had a breakdown... Haha. How am I supposed to decorate and buy anything? We are doing gray as the wall color but I'm just feeling sad that I can't but cute stuff because I don't now the gender! Anyone else feel torn??