Had you told anyone?

After my miscarriage - we did not tell ANYONE till the 20th week. People looked at me a little funny - but I just felt better that way. Lots of baggy sweaters.

I feel like even though we had just started telling everyone before we had our MC, i don't want to love the "what if" life. I want to be excited And tell people. It sucked to have to go back and tell everyone of our loss, but I don't wanna be scared and nervous about the next pregnancy. I want to just be excited and have people excited for us. 

I'm actually the opposite.​​I hadn't told many people. Only my 2 closest friends.​​But then when I found out that I had miscarried... well, I suddenly needed to tell EVERYONE. I felt it was unfair that no one would know this life inside of me had existed. Plus, I'm not a lone griever. I need people to know what's wrong and how I'm feeling. I didn't want to hide it. So I wrote a blog about it:​​http://mommyrunner07.blogspot.com/2014/06/everyone-needs-rainbow.html?m=1​​As I wrote in the blog, I intend to tell everyone as soon as possible the next time I'm pregnant. I want to celebrate the life while it's growing, not just mourn it afterward if something happens.  

We had told EVERYONE including our 9 year old who so badly wanted a brother or sister. We waited the normal 3 months to tell everyone other than family/close friends but we lost our son at over 4 months. Sitting with my daughter to try and explain why her brother was now an angel was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but we cried and healed as a family. As awful as telling everyone was it did show us how loved we really are and that we are not alone. I think as woman we tend to almost feel embarrassed or like we failed when we loose our unborn child and that makes telling people even harder, for me I found strength in being so open to let others know they were not alone. I did a post on Facebook for the direct people in our lives who we hadn't already told because I didn't feel like explain everytime I ran into someone or them just simply asking and having to inform them over and over again. I was shocked at the outpouring of love and understanding 

I only told my husband and my 4 best friends (I regret 1 of those, she hasn't been much of a friend lately so I shouldn't have even told her) I was pregnant (then when I MC).​ It helped a lot to have their support, so I know next time I'm pregnant I will tell the 3 friends that were there for me (and my husband obv) because I know they will be supportive again and excited when I am pregnant again :)

I had told a few close friends and one of the things I dreaded most after my MC was "untelling" them. I got amazing advice on that and am so glad: she told me that I didn't have to "untell" anyone right away, and that I could wait until I was ready. I haven't "untold" everyone yet, about 9 days later, and am glad I'm only doing it when I'm ready and the right opportunity comes up. Also, I don't think I'm going to tell a single person other than my husband until 10+ weeks next time, if I'm lucky enough to have a next time. Untelling is the worst. If anything I feel like I have to reassure everyone else that I'm okay and I'm not really okay yet.​ 

We had just started to tell most people close to us. I miscarried at 13weeks, first pregnancy.  It hurt to have to tell them, but the support they gave was really great. I feel that although it is hard to have to "un-tell" people it is more sad that miscarriage is seen as a taboo. It is a time when you need more support than you realise. 

We were 14 weeks... So we had told everyone... I still have mixed feelings about what I'll do if I'm ever pregnant again. Part of me doesn't want to announce it at all...

We told only a few close friends (not parents). So glad we didn't tell the world but only the chosen few as they were so supportive thru it all. MC @ 8 weeks and had D&C 2 months before our wedding. The wedding was a good distraction and helped us get thru a bad time by injecting some happiness. Crossing our fingers for a BFP tomoro!

We hadn't told that many people, just parents & best friends but it broke my heart all over again seeing how sad they were for us. So we won't be telling anyone until we've reached 12 weeks. I think my mum & best friends will guess so may tell them after a couple of successful early scans. Xx