Conflicted, and afraid.

Des • US traveler. OR living. RH Neg life yo.
We lost our baby in May during the 16th week. Did a D&E. We have just begun trying again, and according to glow af should be here next Monday. And I find myself more terrified than excited. Now that it's a possibility I'm afraid, what if were trying too soon. What will my doctors say. Are my hormones okay enough for this. What if it happens again. 
​My doctors never really talked with us about when it would be okay to ttc, because we originally planned to wait(although we never said how long we would wait, because we hadn't decided). I've had af since then, normal. Five days, no terrible cramping, fairly easy. Anyone else find themselves conflicted?