Smoking Weed and being a parent

Stephanie • Married Mother of 2 boys &Soon a little girl.Team Duran. <3

Im a mother of two my oldest son is going to be 7 he doesnt know i smoke his never seen me do it and my little one will be 14 months his not around it at all. We own our own land and on our land we have 4 houses. The forth home is for guest or a party house but i smoke in there. Its a place away from my kids. I love to smoke because its calming. My oldest has adhd combined and i suffer from add depression and anxiety so it is really hard to take care of my children with my condition and weed seems to keep me on my feet im never mad im so relaxed and i can do absolutely everything the same as not being stoned i dont smoke a lot i only smoke if im feeling stressed or really sad and its been calming my depression alot but i keep feeling like a bad person and being a mother makes it a little worse maybe its my depression idk. I keep it in a safe area and i make sure my children are not around at all we have 10 acers so its easy to keep away from them if i feel the need to smoke but is it normal to feel the way i feel how do parents who smoke feel

And ask questions if something doesnt make sense im more then happy to talk

Please dont say hurtful things im not a bad parent i take care of my children i work im in college im married and my husband has a amazing job so im not struggling or anything so please dont say negative things i am open to suggestions amd what people think but dont take it to far