Overbearing MIL

My MIL is a very difficult woman. She's  very insecure and needs to feel needed. She lives four hours away, but whenever she's in town, she doesn't say much to me and she kind of takes over the motherly duties for my 3 yr old son. She feeds him, changes his clothes, wipes his butt after going to the bathroom and everything. She even answers when he yells for me. She's been like that his entire life. Anyone else have the same situation? What did you do about it?
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COMMENT (10)

Je

Posted at
That's a sensitive matter...if it's just for a few days at a time, I say let it go. You have to really choose your battles when it comes to MIL. Sounds like she's the type you kill with kindness. she's just acting up for a reaction. 

•K

•K• • Sep 23, 2014
I agree! If she lived closer & was doing this every day, i would tell her to back off. But since it's few & far between, it's probably better to just keep the peace.

Je

Posted at
Talk to your husband. See if he notices the same thing and if he does ask him to talk with her about why she takes over whenever she's in your home. 

Br

Bridget • Sep 23, 2014
No I have not. She's not to share feelings with. She's not social! Known her 9 yrs and still don't know much about her!

ne

ne • Sep 23, 2014
With her? Lol sorry I clicked enter too quickly

ne

ne • Sep 23, 2014
Have u had a word

Ra

Posted at
My mil is kind of the same way. My husband sees it but he says she's just excited and it will pass. She lives only 20 minutes away but the have a place that is like a summer home 6 hours away that they spend a lot of time at. But she had my sister in law but her an exersaucer for my son and I don't even have one yet. he's 8 weeks, I'm a stay at home mom and my husband is never home cuz he works sometimes 80hrs a week. Before my son was born she never came over, she barely had anything to do with us. Now if she doesn't see her grandson she gets upset. She in front of me says stuff like "we are at nana's house your rules don't matter", or "he only likes to lay on me" even after I pointed out he just likes to lay this specific way cuz it feels nice. And when I do bring him over she doesn't put him down even if he really just needs to be with mom or he's sleeping. She isn't gonna see him enough for her to own things like a pack N play or excersaucer and it pisses me off so bad! I want to yell at her to chill out that he's my son first not hers but I'm trying to not cause turmoil, even though to me she and my sister in law have started this. And my husband thinks I'm overreacting and says that they are just excited and I don't understand his family. To me it shouldn't matter if I don't understand his family they need to understand me and that I'm the mom.

GF

Posted at
Was she really present with your husband when he was growing up? Is he her baby? Sounds almost like she's lonely and needy and so she compensates by taking over baby duty. Maybe this is bad advice, but I'd ask her how she feels about babysitting. Tell her you know how much she likes taking care of her grandbaby... Maybe she'd like to get a full weekend and you can do a quick getaway with your husband or a pampering weekend for yourself or something like that. It might help her feel connected to you and trusted.

Br

Bridget • Sep 24, 2014
DH is her oldest. She always babied him. She has babysat once & she was kinda hesitant. So I don't know what the deal is