Today was supposed to be a happy day.

Today was the day I was supposed to see my baby for the first time at my 12 week scan instead I am trying not to be upset when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. My husband doesn't understand why I am upset because it is 7 weeks since I miscarried at just over 5 weeks and in his words " it was only tiny anyway so nothing to get upset for". I was really strong for the first 6 weeks because I didn't want my nearly 4 yr old boy seeing me upset. It has been a long journey which resulted in lots of blood tests, two scans, being rushed to hospital in agony and eventually a diagnosis of suspected ectopic/pregnancy of unknown location (retained tissue too small to show on any scans but they didn't know exactly where it was) and having a Methotextrate injection to kill off the remaining cells, I finally got my negative results last week and I broke down properly about it for the first time since the miscarriage began. Now I find myself crying every day. I think because I always had another appointment to focus on I was able to carry on as normal and now it is all over it if finally hitting me.