Am I the weird one?

My first "serious" relationship lasted for 2 years. Never did anything like cheating with the guy and it was long distance the whole time. We were both from different countries! Anyways, out of the whole 2 years, we probably were together physically for 10 times? Although we skyped daily, still, physically.. I was all by myself. I tried to make things work until I finished high school and realised we were going nowhere. No one had enough saved, well I had a few thousand but that's it. He couldn't go to school due to finance and I put him to school as I worked with the promise to pay me back months later. After 2 years of relationship, I got depressed, I couldn't go out with friends or just go out and hang out really. He always wanted to talk. I slept 3-5 hours daily and worked 8-12 hours a day. Felt like hell. I finally broke things off after I cheated with him with someone who I met who became friends with. It was all too much. He forgave me then but then obviously he didn't mean it after I didn't want to get back because of what I did and our situation. He called me a cheater and then just acted like I was the worst person. He blocked me from everything and then I found out he's dating some girl who's uhm yeah. That was like a year ago? Now he's with the same girl and has a baby on the way. They're married now too. I'm happy for them, for him especially because he's happy but it's just, I want to be friends with him. Always have. He doesn't want to because he thinks I'll start stuff. I find that institute. I never stated anything with his girl, ever. It's just weird for me that, looking back, we cared for each other so much, promised this and that, dated for 2 years and had a great relationship. Because I didn't want to get back with him and just wanted to be friends after I cheated, I'm a piece of shit? Just crazy to think, you cared for each other so much before and now it's like you've been a stranger this whole time. Am I crazy to feel this way? & no I don't have feelings for him like that. I too am happy with my amazing boyfriend of almost 3 years. No cheating no nothing btw!!