I was reading a few topics earlier and came across a post from a women who seemed conflicted about not wanting to have children. As if she was "supposed" to feel maternal because she's a women.

So it got me thinking--- Here's my story as short as possible...

My husband and I have been TTC since 2009, it's all we ever wanted. After a miscarriage in my second trimester July '09, we decided to wait 6 months and try again the following year.... After 3 years and 3 doctors, countless test, hormones, periods, and tears we decided to stop trying in 2011. Meaning, I would give up hormones, ovulation kits, tracking my bbt, reading and researching, and most of all talking about having a baby. I went through so many phases where my mind and my heart couldn't agree. One month I would be heartbroken and want to try harder. Then I would want to adopt. Then I wouldn't want any kids. Then I wanted to get pregnant. Then I didn't want kids again. I never in my wildest dreams thought I wouldn't want children. After everything I have been through emotionally and physically for 5 years, you would think that I was crazy. I felt bad for ever having those thoughts , so I didn't share them with my husband-- at first. I assumed, these thoughts must be a hormonal thing, or maybe it was my minds way of distracting me from the dispair of not being able to conceive. I thought that maybe I had set it in my mind we wouldn't ever conceive and it would just be the two of us forever. I was telling people I didn't want kids for the past few years becuase I was sick of people pressuring us to have a baby. So whatever the reason be, I was confused and felt I lost my maternal feelings. It took my marriage going through a truly rough experience for me to realize I truly want children. I never wanted to let our TTC issue to effect my marriage- but it did. It caused my husband to go into a deep depression where he eventually developed an opiate addction. It caused me to throw myself into my work and seclude myself from my home life.

Luckily all that is behind us know and we are going to TTC again next year. I realized though the turmoil I wouldn't want to not have a piece of myself left behind or of my husband if he or myself were to leave this world.

My opinion due to my life experience:

As a woman, don't ever feel bad or non maternal. If your meant to be a mother, you will be. If you find yourself pregnant and feel it's not the right choice for you at the point your at in your life--- go with your heart. No choice is wrong and no on can make it for you. Life is a series of choices.

The rude ppl on this app