How to tell a friend she has double standards?

Question

My friend was just telling me about how her boyfriend has a girlfriend she doesn't like because they always hang out together. I sat there not knowing how to respond because she always has male friends around and holds their hands and sits on them and such ! This is when her bf is at college btw! She is jealous of this girl constantly being by her man even though the girl has a boyfriend.  How do I tell her she has double standards with out ruining our relationship?

Answer

She is getting defensive because she already knows what she is doing is wrong, just be forward with her and tell her if she wants something from her bf she needs to be willing to do the same for him

Answer

It's her relationship, if her boyfriend doesn't mind her having male friends there's nothing wrong with it.

People have double standards all the time, for example my husband is constantly telling me how I can never pick up hitchhikers (they're very common where I live) because it's not safe, and yet he picks them up from time to time. It's a double standard, but I don't really care because I know he says it out of love and concern for me.

Answer

Just tell her straight up! It's not fair to have double standards in a relationship! She shouldn't have a problem with her boyfriend having a close female friend if she is flirty with other males and she shouldn't even be flirty at all if she's in a relationship. As her friend you need to just be honest with her. In my opinion it seems like she has a guilty conscience which is why she's so jealous, either that or a lack of trust. If her boyfriend isn't doing anything wrong then their shouldn't be a problem with it but to me, how she's behaving with other guys is wrong

Answer

Just be straight forward and tell her. Of course if she brings it up again.

Say something like "you shouldn't be jealous....you should be able to trust your man".

Also throw in there how she's always around her guy friends. It's healthy. I don't know about her holding their hands and sitting on them and all that jazz.

You just need to be straightforward. That's how I am and it hasn't gone wrong yet.

How to tell a friend she has double standards?

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