HELP: In need of some encouragement & advice ?

Question

Lately I've been feeling depressed and sad.. Maybe it's my hormones going all crazy maybe it's just everything hitting me at once. This is my first pregnancy and it's with my ex-boyfriend. We had one of those "I miss you" type of nights and well weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I've always want to get married first then have a baby. Yes I love him. But I'm not in love with him...and I never really saw myself being with him in the long run and now I feel forced to be in this relationship I don't want to be in. It makes me sad because I see everyone in happy relationships with someone they are in love with or married couples on here or just around me expecting their first child. Creating beautiful announcements with their S/O. And it really brings me tears because I've always wanted to do that with the one I'm in love with and going to spend the rest of my life with ?. Now don't get my wrong here I know this is a blessing and I absolutely love kids and I am happy that God is blessing me with my baby. What gets me down is just the circumstances of how it's happening. I don't believe in abortions(no offenses to the women that have had them) and I didn't want to get rid of the baby because of the choices I made. I haven't even told my dad yet (my mom knows) but  I just feel like such a disappointment to my family because we come from a Christian background and I know people are going to talk and make ugly comments about me having sex outside of marriage and how it's a sin etc. etc. Excuse my venting I just really feel alone in all of this...Please no negative comments I would really appreciate just positive encouragement and advice....please  ?

Answer

I have a similar situation. The father of my baby is a ex co worker who clearly blinded me with his niceness and lied about not having a gf at the time we did the do. After I told him I'm pregnant from him he became horrible. Every word that came out of his mouth was poison. Him and his minions later cyber bullied me on fb to the point where I deactivated it and quit my job. He wants nothing to do with the baby. After knowing who he is I don't like him as a person but i just wanted him to be in the baby's life. I'm here in Cali by myself and I'm not from here so I have no family. I got with this dude after I divorced my ex who cheated on me while deployed so I was volunerable. The way I felt better was got rid of everyone who was associated with the man by not talking to them, deleting numbers and changing my number, then wrote down my situation and problems that are bothering me on paper then read it out loud in front of a mirror then burned it.

Answer

I know it's hard and I'm sorry you feel like this. You don't have to have a relationship with him at all . He can still be there as a friend and as a father to your baby. If you don't see him as the man of your dreams I say don't settle just because your going to have a baby with him. I say keep a healthy relationship as friends and co patents. You are a strong girl and your baby is the most important thing find what makes you happy and not what others want for you. Stop caring about what others think people always want to bring you down. Your baby is a blessing and god always has different plans for us all. We are here for a reason sometimes life doesn't make scene but we always find a way to make it work.  Just be honest to yourself and your loved ones even tho it's hard. If you start feeling more depressed I would talk to a perfesonal. Depression is scary and I have been there and talking to someone always helps. Good luck god bless you and your amazing peanut !