Talk???

I want a baby. I want a family of my own. Something I can call mine and to have two people that love and adore me just as much as I love and adore them. Every where I go I see couples cooing and awing over their newborn and I can't help but be jealous. Me and my SO haven't nessicarily been TTC but we have done nothing to prevent it from happening. And every month it's a kick to the cut and a pain in my heart when my period rolls around. Last month I was almost a week late and I got so excited, thinking that I finally achieved something I had wanted but then was crushed. I experienced random blood Sunday and it hasn't happened since. Some say it implantation bleeding and I'm trying to be positive but I can't help but doubt it. Each month I grow more and more disappointed with myself at the fact that it seems I can't so the one thing I want to be able to do. Or that the only person I want to be with might not be able to give it to me. Either way, it's heartbreaking. I'm sorry to post this on here for those who have read this but I had to let it out. Thank you for listening.