How do I deal?

Question

My gf is 4 yrs younger than me, (I, 24/her, 20) in college, in a sorority, 10 hrs away. She goes to a lot of mixers/frat parties/greek events and feels the need to get drunk at every single one.

I absolutely hate it. It's one thing to drink w friends, it just really bothers me that she feels the need or the pressure to binge drink at every single party/event. I understand that she's a young college student and should have fun, but when she confronted me about why I get so upset at her drinking, I told her the distance and the sketchy things that happen to drunk college girls really scare/worry/bother me. If something were to happen I might not know and wouldn't be able to get to her quickly to help her in any situation. I am also the first person she's ever seriously dated, and DEFF the first girl she's ever dated so being so vulnerable around all those college/frat boys really gets under my skin.

Am I overreacting? Is this all just a reflection of my insecurities? How do I deal with it & let her do her thing?

Answer

That's tough!! It sounds perfectly reasonable and normal to feel insecure in that situation. First, props to you for being honest with her about it bothering you! That's a scary, sketchy situation. Her being young & with you as her first major relationship could easily make things feel a bit unstable with distance and drinking. Not to say that her intentions are bad or that being drunk will for sure cause trouble, but it's a risky scenario. I think you are right to feel insecure; however my advice is to continue communicating with her how you feel, but without judgement and without letting jealousy get the better of you. Hopefully at some point the binge-drinking-partying will lose its charm and she will value your patience and sincerity. Don't know if this helps you feel better, but I don't think you're crazy for it bothering you. :-)

Answer

She's honestly so young... she may just have to figure it out for herself. Try to realize that she is finding herself and may simply be growing in a different direction then you. It happens, and though it may hurt, sometimes it's for the best.