Eating disorder recovery...HELP!

That's fantastic that you've come so far! I don't have much advice other than counselling being a huge help. If you don't like it at first, find a new counselor, it makes all the difference. Good luck and keep up the great work!

. I think it will always be something you have to be on guard about bc although I have not had an eating disorder in a long time, I still get so much anxiety on weigh-in days and I fear being fatter than I want to be. But no level of skinniness can beat the feeling of a child. Plus healthy and free and happy beats skinny or just super low body fat (if very muscular) while in bondage any day. Recovery is hardest at the beginning but once you gain some ground, you will find small tastes of freedoms here and there and will want more. You won't keep on and on gaining. It levels off. 

Other advice, throw out your tiny jeans. Get to a healthy weight and treat yourself to new ones. Don't be caught up in the number. There are tons of people with a much larger jean size than me (even MUCH higher weight) that blow me out of the water physically. Other truth, guys like curves. Feel sexy as you gain some:) If you are married, think of the goal of filling out some lingerie. My husband still really wants me to gain more. I don't understand it but it is true. Avoid triggers. Tell people who always say the wrong things that the topic is off limits. They don't understand an ED brain and mean no harm but can definitely cause harm.

I am anorexic, or I was. I spent 3 years over scrutinizing what I ate. Due to so many people watching me until college I could not lose the weight, but my first 2 months of college I weighed 140 going in and 95 2months later. I maintained 95pds for 5 months, due to the fact that people kept telling me I looked so skinny, I still didn't feel skinny, but my beer intake kept my weight the same.I recovered with therapy and will power, luckily I didn't need a clinic. My theapist said that it was my way to control the uncontrolled, like my father slowing dying right before me. After my fathers death I rebounded and started to eat and regain control of my disorder.   I still struggle with anorexia, dieting in a dangerous thing for me. One of my mess made me gain weight and I got up to 180 pds, I panicked and lost 40 pds in 5 months. I did most of it the heathy way, but there were days of starving.It's a long road, but being healthy is what matters over everything. See a therapist and love yourself the way God loves you!!is the best advice Peace be with you