Caught him lying.. Advice please ?

Question

Today my husband received a msg suppose from a co worker... Turns out it was a female he has or had been trxting. He had the nerve to add it on his phone with a mans name. Then gets mad at me for confronting him. I dont know what to do... I lost all the trust i had in him.. If he had the guts to do that what else can he do behind my back. Im so hurt.... I need some advice

Answer

I'm sorry this happened to u.. but let me just say, don't let marriage make u feel trapped from leaving him if u ever feel like u hav to ..& i this may be harder bcz ur married, idk wat u 2 hav been thru but if he can't stay faithful then u deserve someone who will be honest & stay honest wit u ..it's never easy hun but i hope this helped a little . Cheer up beautiful ur worth so much more than being sad,  life will always bring u new opportunities u just gotta be brave enough to go after them.

Answer

My ex did this 
Kerry was "kevin" 
Sarah was "steven"

I worked late shifts and came home to find Kerry with a bottle of wine in my living room

Sarah was a friend of mine I had no credit this day and borrowed his phone to call her.  When it came up as Steven I freaked out.

Our relationship was all downhill from there. He was the jealous type. He'd question why the bed was made or not. Why I had a bath. he'd check my phone remaining minutes and texts. He'd lock me in the house and still find ways to accuse me of being with someone else. The broken ribs and black eyes were the last straw.

A while after we broke up I found out he got another girl pregnant while he was with me.

Get to the bottom of it.

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That's why I hate cell phones and social networks. I sometimes wish all we had were house telephones. I kind of feel like once a cheater always a cheater but at the same time I believe people can change if they make an honest effort to. If he doesn't change then he has no respect for himself and also for you.

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Goodbye trust, hello broken heart. I've been through this recently too. I posted a few months back about catching my husband on snap chat. Dealt with that only to find out in the weeks following that they'd started using Facebook to contact. Although we were living together we'd seperated. We've since reconciled but what I can tell you is its hard. She had the cheek to blame me and I confronted her one day when she came into my place of work. She couldn't walk backwards fast enough, Don't be scared not to leave! We're moving home at Christmas time and I plan on spending some time apart. He's lucky we are where we are because I haven't had much option other than to deal with it! He has to want to fix this mess HE created. There's things we used to do together as a couple (not sexual) but I know he did those with her. I will never participate in those again. That's his loss and reminder of the pain he's caused. You do what feels right for you. Maybe a few days apart will do you good

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I decided to give him a chance to stay... I told him i no longer trust him and he said he wanted to stay to work things out.... Maybe im doing wrong for letting him back in my life after this.... Lets just see how far we can get.. Iwont n cant trust him the same anymore.

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He got mad cause he know he was wrong , when you both of you have calmed down let him no what he did wasent ok & that he needs to build his trust back!

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If he's worth holding on to, then when he is confronted by you can't calmly but clearly in pain, you wouldn't have to be the one thinking of all the things to say and do or whatnot... If he cares enough then he will do and say whatever it takes on earth to make you stay. It will be genuine... Not some fake no please stay so I can have my cake and eat it too. You will know if he is remorseful. If he is not,. Leave his butt.

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Theres no easy way confronting your s/o about things like this. Give each other space figure out what you want to happen, and prepare for the worst. And just question him.

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Thanks Brenda and Ana. Tomorrow im going to talk to him and let him know how i feel.. I just cant believe it! He actually taught i was stupid!!!

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I know how you feel girl. I have major trust issues. My man had another gf..... I confronted him about it and her and she left and I was packing his stuff but I calmed down a little and we talked. I love him with all my heat so I was really hurt but he's was just as bad. He's been thru a lot and I've never seen him cry but when he saw how hurt I was he was crying more than me he explained everything and we talked and he apologized. I still don't completely trust him after that but I'm always really untrusting to begin with. We're  working thru everything that's happened and it mad us stronger because now he's doing everything he can to make sure I don't leave. Just talk to him about it when he cools down and tell him how it made you feel. Also spin it on him and ask him if it was you instead how would he feel. Communication is key no matter what