Libido help

So I lost my virginity by rape at 18. Haven't been able to orgasm with a man since. I assume that's the correlation. My boyfriend knows and we keep trying but subconscious takes over and I'm unable.. Any ideas?

Also my birth control seems to take the last bit of desire i do originally have and I've tried three different types. I certainly do not want to get pregnant but it's really depressing that not only can I not have the big boom but now no desire at all?!

Any ideas for both situations?