Pregnant = losing identity?

Question

I'm in my 30s and have worked really hard to get to my current job/career. Everyone who knows me, knows that I'm career focused. I'm pregnant and will take a normal length maternity leave and return to work.

However, once people find out I'm pregnant, that's all they talk to me about, and assume that's all I care about. I mentioned a work project to friends, and someone actually said "you're about to be a mother, I'm sure you have other things to worry about". WTH? Have any of you experienced this pregnancy/baby cloud surrounding you?

Answer

I stopped posting on Facebook because I knew I'd lose my shit the next time someone said I was 'nesting', just because I bought a sewing machine with the intention of doing a few things around my apartment.

It's like people think your whole personality changes and your life ends just because you're gestating a parasite, I swear.

Answer

Some people will talk to you more about it because it's something they can easily relate to. And don't forget you will find an abundance of women trying to give unsolicited advice....it's up to you to decide what to listen to. Unfortunately it does seem that some people see pregnancy as a disability of sorts and will treat you differently. Don't let them, you are still the same person ;)

Answer

I am not pregnant and I am already experiencing it! ? 
My neighbor the other day told to my husband and me, that we should enjoy our scientific discussion now, because as soon are we pregnant we will be focus in discussing only about the baby! ?
Another time I was with a colleague of mine in my garden talking about science and as soon my neighbor came, they started to talk about kids until was time for my colleague to leave my house 3 hours later!?
I guess is normal, but I'll for sure miss "growing up" and scientific talks! ??

Answer

I've struggled with this a lot too. It sucks, especially considering the monumental effort put forth into career before becoming a mom. I think it's important to set people straight. It's totally OK to say, "Yes, being someone's mom is awesome, but it's important to me to be well-rounded. I still care about my job, husband, passion, etc. I'm still me!"

I did this recently at work (I'm a high school principal) because I wanted the teachers to know that I was just as dedicated as I've always been. I'm just also someone's mom now, and as such, I can contribute another perspective.

Just remember that you can't use your kids as a constant excuse at work; it's not a two way street.

You will always be you. Just you +1 or 2 or 3....

Answer

You just prove them wrong. Everyone thought I would quit and I didn't.

Answer

Wow, I feel much better now that I know there are other women like me out there! I too am a very career oriented person. I own multiple businesses and am extremely independent. I can't stand how I was treated and the things they would say. It's almost like they were hoping my career would end. 
Unfortunately I miscarried but the experience changed me. I actually want a child now and am looking forward into proving that I can raise a fantastic child and still run successful businesses.

Answer

I would let them know that your pregnancy and motherhood will not change who you are. I would find that very frustrating.

Answer

I can relate-seems that being pregnant is all people want to talk me about. At work too. Just change subject and focus on work at work-people will get the picture. Don't let it get to you, hang in to your identity and goals-your baby will appreciate it for years to come!

Answer

I'm 35 and expecting my 3rd which was unplanned. I'm in the middle of interviewing for a District manager position within a sales company and now feel like I won't get hired just because I'm pregnant. I feel so overwhelmed about adding to my work load but also feel I have rightfully worked my way up. However, if I tell the hiring team that I'm expecting, I will get passed up for this opportunity. Feel so overwhelmed and a bit discouraged. 😒

Answer

I experienced that as well. I went into my grad program at 21 (directly after college) and landed my dream gig at 26. My whole adult life has been about my career. It dawned on me the other day that it's not the case anymore. My career is only going to be a foundation for me - a strong one too - as we build our family. I will eventually retire from my job. I won't retire from my kids. It was a little mind blowing. Can you talk to coworkers who are a little ahead of you and also parents? They might have terrific insight into balancing everything. You're definitely not alone!

Pregnant = losing identity?

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