Single Parenting? I'm scared

Question

So many might judge me because of this post but i was told this was a community and I pray that's true because I feel safe saying things here and getting other expectant mothers advice. I am currently 6 1/2 weeks pregnant and due around Aug 17, 2015. I am not a single mother by choice. My baby was conceived with my ex-fiancé before I found out he cheated on me. 
So here's the story so you all get the idea of what I went through before you get mean:
My fiancé and I were together nearly 4 years but I've known him for 5-we had been living together from May 2014-November 2014. He is a combat medic in the military and he left for ENT specialty training in July on this year. We had been through training before and I was perfectly okay waiting at home for my soldier. He came home on November 22( my birthday ironically) and from November 22-27(Thanksgiving) things were perfectly okay with us and we were happy and he seemed excited to be home with me and we had unprotected sex three times during my ovulation (which is why I have my little nugget baking away(:). I thought everything was perfect until the woman he slept with while away showed up at our doorstep wanting to stay for 2 weeks before she was stationed in Washington and my ex-fiancé said yes! And then things got horribly bad when I said no and he seriously threw me against a wall and started beating the crap out of me until I was unconscious. He had never been violent before-I don't know what happened while he was away. At some point my mother was called and I moved out that night. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Which was completely shocking because I was told id never be a mom. I am extremely excited for my little chocolate chip and my ex has already stated he doesn't want anything to do with this "f***ing mistake" which is fine. I don't want any body to be rude I'm just looking for advice of how other mommas handled being a single momma and what worked for them and what didn't please? Any advice is greatly appreciated

Answer

So sorry that happened to you, but I'm sure you'll do fine ☺ I know plenty of single moms who are doing just fine. My only recommendation is to make sure he legally waives his rights, or make sure you get them waived somehow. You won't want him to have legal rights with your child, since he was abusive with you. You never know if he'll be abusive with your child, but it's better to be safe. Good luck, and congrats on your little bean! ☺

Answer

I'm not a single parent but my best friend is. Her partner of 12 years left her when she got pregnant!! She does a fab job and has a lot of supportive friends and family around her. She never planned it to be like that but truly believes everything is working out for the best. Her son is an absolute credit to her. I think it's better to be a single parent than trying to co-parent in a relationship that just isn't working or is abusive.  Good luck!

Answer

I've been a single mom for 13 years. My dd with my ex (I left him before I knew I was pg and wouldn't go back), ds #1 planned with AI and ds #2 was with a "friend". I am now 5w1d with #4 and my fiancé is thrilled. There's no shame in being a single mom. Take care of you and your baby! Also take a restraining order out on him.

Answer

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Definitely no judgement here, I'm glad you've got support on here. As aweful as it is, I'm glad you got out when you did so you can grow little choc chip in peace and safety and bring him/her up in a loving home. Best of luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you xxx

Answer

I understand your fears, I'm due aug 17th too and the father wanted me to get an abortion and I refused. He said he will be there, but he refuses to talk about anything baby related and makes really mean remarks about how it's my fault I'm pregnant. So I really understand you fear of doing it alone and not knowing what to expect. But we got this!

Answer

Coming from someone who was raised by a single parent - I couldn't admire my mum more...sh found the strength to raise 2 young children on her own...she was young when she was pregnant with my older sister (21) and I was born 3 years later and I have no memory of thinking 'I wish I had a dad' because I had a mum who was everything to me...to be she is a hero but in reality she is just a woman and women are amazing as they manage to adapt to situations and when require they can be as strong as they need to be and I had no doubt you'll be an inspiration to your baby the way my m is to me because you've already shown courage by leaving him and not going back after he was violent...keep strong and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it xx

Answer

I was a single mum to my children for the longest time 1 of my babies was a newborn. It's hard at times & unfortunately I didn't have a network of people to help or family close by but I managed, at times I felt like just a mum but I was rewarded with my children's smiles & new mile stones each and every day. My children are 9, 7 & 5 now and I'm still reaping the rewards. They don't see their father which at times makes me feel sad but they never seem to mind. I think my love must be more than enough. Being a mum is hard but it's also the best job in the world and nothing in life is better than those moments that make your heart melt, be it their 1st smile, tooth, steps, nursery trips. It's all an amazing adventure :) you will be fine. We were made to love, protect, guide & nurture. It will all come naturally. ? x

Answer

Sorry to hear that happened to you! I was a single mother for 7 years before I married my husband 1 year ago! It was a tough 7 years but we managed and it has made me the strong responsible woman I am today! The best advice I could give is to build yourself a community of friends and loved ones that can assist you and give support to raising a well rounded individual! Work on bettering you and never feel less than bc of your situation and eventually someone worthy will walk into your life and love your child as their own! No judgement, but waiting till I got married again to have another child and move in with someone brought  a better outcome not that it can't still go wrong if your do it that way! You'll do awesome!

Answer

I was a single mom throughout my ENTIRE pregnancy and through the first 5 months of my son's life. 
I refused to get an abortion. I accepted that I was going to be a single mom && I just did it. 
It is scary. It is hard. But you get to name your kid whatever you want, you get to love them completely, and you get to make up your rules and not have anyone say no to them. 
I started dating my fiancé when my son was 5 months old && it's been wonderful. I always tell people you'll find someone when you're ready. There are wonderful guys out there who will care about you and your child. =] best of luck!!

Answer

You can absolutely do this!!  Going through this alone will not be easy and I hope you have family or friends for your support system.  I was a single mom at 17 and managed to continue making bad calls in picking the men in my life which resulted in taising 3 kids alone.  My fiancee and I met 3 years ago and I still cant believe I got it right finally :-) now baby #4 and the excitement and responsability will be shared!  
Best of luck to you!

Single Parenting? I'm scared

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