I need some serous advice...I feel like damn if I do, damn if I don't...

Last night, we opened up the gifts my dad sent for the family. I don't know why (maybe all the BS from the last few months) but my dad didn't send anything specifically for my husband. It had my husband feeling down, thinking my family doesn't like him.

So when the kids went to bed, I asked him what was wrong. At first he said nothing. But like I normally do, I kept pushing. He eventually admitted that he was upset about not receiving anything from my dad and that he felt like I was talking a bunch of BS about him to my family. To be honest, maybe I was, but with all the crap I've had to deal with the last 6 months, dh hasn't given me much of a choice.

He's been working long hours, and when he is home, he's making plans with a female employee and her kids, rather than his family...and those plans seem to always work out. He's been secretive, taking calls outside, and ignoring me and the kids.

A few weeks ago, I started a new job, to help bring in extra cash for the holidays, so we weren't struggling so hard. Long story short, he's been accusing me of cheating on him for the last six months, and wouldn't let it go. Well, someone can only take so much of being accused of something before it happens (sorry but it's true). So the second night at work, instead of coming home I went and visited a friend...we talked for a while and before I went home, we had sex (please don't judge...).

I was only able to work a week before my babysitter quit on me, claiming her doctor put her on bed rest due to her being so close to delivering her baby. During that week I was working, I visited my friend a couple more times. We would talk, have sex, and I would return home.

Well a girlfriend of mine told my dh about the affair. Surprisingly, I wasn't mad at her, though we haven't spoken since. DH asked for the 100% truth. So I told him. I didn't feel guilty or upset. I told dh everything. How I felt about being accused for the last six months of cheating on him, and how even on my first day at work, on my way to work, and even before I left for work, he had been accusing me, so I decided to let him know how it felt to be accused of something I was actually doing.

During the conversation, he admitted that he had started to have feelings for the employee he'd been spending so much time with. I could tell that he was on the verge of telling me they had sex, but we were interrupted by the kids.

Well last night while we were discussing the fact that my dad didn't send him anything for Christmas, he got a phone call from work, saying yet another employee has called in for today. After we went to bed (literally a few seconds after the call) he started saying that he wanted me to go find someone that would take care of me and the kids, since he couldn't be here for us. He kept saying that was the reason for him "pulling away from us" these last few months.

So what I'm asking is