..........Help.....

My due date is in two weeks and 3 days. My fear has become so crippling I can barely focus on anything I need to get done before the baby is born. My husband came home today with a late Christmas present for me for after the baby is born. I've always wanted a membership to a gym and he got me one. But my first thought when he presented it to me was,"But I can't use it. I'll be dead." I'm realizing I've been planning my own death. I haven't gotten anything ready for my baby because I keep planning to not be around. I try not to worry about it but I can't help it......I can't shake the feeling that I won't be around to see my baby grow up.