I want so much from this year. Especially to forget about him. I love him but he hurt me so much last year. It wasn't his fault either, it was mine. After I knew he cheated on me &he got someone pregnant I still stayed as a friend. He would tell me what's going on &it would hurt me because I wished that it was me. He knew how much I wanted a baby & we were trying. Strange isn't? We were ttc but he ended up ttc with someone else who was a one night stand. It all happens so fast that I actually thought talking to him &bieng friends would get him thinking that he fucked me over so bad that I wish he knew that he broke me, emotionally & mentally. I'm gonna try really hard to forget about him &just focus on work &my family.  It's hard to delete his messages because I'm having false hope. I cried last night cause I realized that I waisted a whole year with him &I don't want to waist a year forgetting about him. I'm hoping &I'm going to try my hardest.