My fiance used to cheat on me, constantly flirting with other women, sexting, joining dating sites, sneaking out in the middle of the night, and at one point gave me an STI. I forgave him, or I thought I did. We moved to a new two floor rental home a few months ago and we are quite friendly with the landlord who lives on the first floor. While being here his cheating persisted but not as much so I was happy, but he seemed distant and detached from me. One day when I was talking to the landlord he had mentioned his nephew who was visiting from out of state due to a family emergency was going to be around for a few days. I hadn't seen him the first couple days he was here, but when I finally did, I fell hard for him. And I mean HARD, He was your typical tattooed, good looking, fit, bad boy, completely wrong for you type, and I loved every inch of him. He oozed nothing but sexual energy and I was taking it in and getting a high from it. Well I guess he noticed that I was attracted to him and from time to time he would approach me when I was alone to talk, he was obviously aware I had a fiance, and my fiance became aware that this man was always talking to me. That's when my fiance's cheating completely stopped, he became more affectionate, helped out around the house more, and he tried to stay home more often. When I asked him why the sudden change(I knew why, I just wanted him to admit it)he said he noticed How this other man looked at me and How he was always approaching me. He said he then realized he could lose me at any moment. By this point though I had already had sex with the other man, it was good, and I wanted more. My fiance wasn't aware that I had already slept with this man, but he was suspicious. I kept blowing it off and blaming his suspicions as a guilty reaction from when he was cheating on me. So the other man left back to his state, much to my chagrin and to my fiance's relief. My fiance still worried that he might return and I assured him that is not likely(deep down I wished he would). Several weeks later he comes back to see his uncle (no emergency this time) and we end up having sex in less than 48hrs. My fiance still doesn't know. He's gone again, but I still think about him. I love my fiance, and the sex we have is good, but it was something about the other man that was just ELECTRIC! He was a jolt to my senses, I just wanted to keep having sex with him. Now I'm torn, I feel guilty that I cheated, but I also feel guilty that I miss the other man so much. I just needed to get this off my chest. And I don't need a reminder that I am a horrible person, I'm aware of it.