Today is my 24th birthday. I can't get out of my bed. I have no reason to either.

2014 ended with me losing my job, having my entire industry turn on me, and not being able to be employed in my industry. My friends have all magically disappeared and as my ex roommates friend put it, "I mean how does stuff just happen to her?" My family does not live here, so for the last 3 months I've been unemployed, coping with anxiety, and completely alone. I also feel I need to clarify to word alone, it gets used quiet a bit. When I mean alone, I mean that if I was to be in a horrific car accident that the closest person they could contact lives 1500 miles away.

I usually can function. I'm usually able to get out of bed, stop the emotions and force myself to function . I listen to audio book, music, apply for jobs, clean house, and exercise. However today is different, today I can't seem to shake this bullshit pity, sadness, and loneliness. I just want to sleep through the day but I can't seem to get that right either. I just don't want to feel this way