I need help...

I'm still in love with this guy. If you can even call it love. We ended things in the ending of august. I was left heart broken. He was left just fine. We have talked a few time but its now over for good. He wants nothing to do with me.

I saw this coming but I never wanted to admit it. I guess this means I'm pathetic. He came in to my life when all I wanted to do was crawl into a little ball and die. He brought me happiness, he became my happiness.

I was so scared to lose him and well now I've lost him. And I shouldn't even miss him because he treated me like shit. He used me and the worst part was I let him and I liked it because I was getting his attention.

We never had sex. I gave him a few bj here and there. He cheated on his gf with me. He made me feel like shit. I felt like he gave me a reason to live when I wanted to die.

So why is it that he treated me like shit, broke my heart more than once, and used me, but I still miss him? Why can't I just be normal and get over him. I just want closure and how do I get it?

I cry at night. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I cry myself to sleep. I can't sleep at night. The memories hurt, but how do I let him go and keep the memories? Is that even possible.

I NEED HELP!