Well, my husband had to provide his semen sample today for our fertility testing and I'm pretty sure it was far more awkward for me than it is for him but neither of us are feeling all that grand at the moment.

First they told us we could collect it at home and just drop it off, so I called the lab to ask how late they're open and they told me it was really better to do it in the facility. He assured me they had a private room where we could lock the door and I could help him out. We arrive and get checked in and she asks "where's the sample?" I explain what I was told and she says "well all I have is a public restroom"

By this point I'm furious and embarrassed that we've spent the past 10 minutes talking about the logistics of my husband jacking off while the receptionist has made no attempt to be discreet whatsoever. And she has the brilliant idea to suggest we use the "quiet room" which connects to the chaplain's office and is intended for grieving families. This is at least better than a bathroom stall! So, now my husband is trying to produce a sample quietly while I stand guard in the room intended for those who just lost a loved one! (which of course doesn't have a lock on the door!)

Seriously, this might be the worst part of this whole disaster to date!!!