Am I being selfish?

Question

I really want a baby. My fiancé thinks we need to wait a bit longer. The problem is my mom is really sick and I want her to be there when I have my  first child. My father died when I was 6 and I don't have any siblings so it has just been my mom and I for the longest time (I am 22 now) in addition all of my family on my mom's side stopped being able to have kids at the age of 25 and we all started our periods younger than 10. I ended up crying yesterday because of how much I want this... but at the same time I feel selfish. What do you think?

Answer

Explain this to your fiancée what does he say? He may not have the same sentiment to having kids as you.

Answer

Honestly, I think you're being a little bit selfish. If he's not ready you need to be respectful of that.

Answer

I'd  honestly feel the same way.

Answer

Talk to him and express all your concerns and emotions if you haven't. Be open to how he is feeling and his concerns. Maybe he is afraid of the added stress having a child can affect him, you, and your relationship. I doubt he thinks you wanting to experience your mom meeting your child is in anyway a bad idea. He is probably focusing on and worried about what all having a child involves. 
If you guys are able to support a child and he comes around to the idea then I say go for it. But be sure he truly is on board and not saying so to save face.

Answer

No I don't think it's selfish at all. I'm sort of going through the same thing with my fiancé (we get married in two months) I have several health disorders and I am currently on a chemo type medication. My Drs say that if I want to have children we should start trying now. I have had at least two chemical pregnancies since August. I'm kind of doubtful that I will get pregnant quickly. He is going into the military and he said he's afraid that our children won't know him. I really don't know his reasons change every day.

Answer

I want have a baby as well. I do have siblings but my mother wasnt able to be there for most of their childhoods and my father died when i was 18. My mother health seems to be failing so i want to have a baby in the next 2-3 years.

Answer

I don't think you are being selfish. You are concerned about possibly not being able to have a child if you wait a few years and that your mom won't be able to meet get grandchild.  I completely understand. I have an autoimmune thyroid disease.  It's possible that i won't be able to conceive. My dad also just passed away a few months ago. He will never walk me down the isle or meet my child(ren) and it's devastating. I understand where you are coming from. Talk to your doctor about your family history and explain to your fiance why your baby timer is ticking, but also view things from his perspective. Maybe he wants to wait until you are married, or maybe it's just not the right time for him.

Answer

You're being selfish.

Am I being selfish?

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