So confused

Paulie • I recently discovered I`m bi and I have low self esteem, but I want to know what`s it like being cared about
So I'm extremely confused. I have a history of drug, self harm, suicidal tendencies. I'm 16 years old, one best friend Danny is love with me but I like too, but my ex boyfriend Israel I'm still love him. They want me to choose which one I want to go out with. They both said that if choose the other I won't ever have a chance to date on. By my ex best friend Miguel that I was madly in love with finally apologized after this huge fight we go into because he kissed me and I was confused. So naturally I asked for my friends help and he got mad me cause I told her. And he also had a girlfriend at the time. So he stopped being my friend. My friend Matthew also like me and I'm start to feel the same, but he's my friends ex boyfriend. When I get confused my emotions are amplified and it hurts I ten to cut when I'm confused. I'm a whore aren't I? What I do?