12wks & finding it hard to stay positive :(

πŸ’œπŸ’—11πŸ’—πŸ’œ β€’
I'll be 12wks tomorrow and so far my symptoms have been on the more severe side of things, plus I have a gallstones causing major pain. 
For my first 11wks I hardly vommited, just the constant nausea but a week ago the vomitting began and hasn't stopped. Each day things just seem to get worse. Combined with other things like the gallblader pain, dizziness & my general struggle to function on a daily basis, I've long past the point where I can keep myself positive. 
I'm so over being told pregnancy is a blessing and how wonderful the feeling of pregnancy is, blah blah blah! Don't get me wrong, I understand that others struggle to or just can't get pregnant and I know deep down that I'm lucky just to be. 
However with the daily pain & struggle I just feel like I want it all to be over, NOW. How do I get back the happiness I had when I was trying to conceive? When I found out I had a little life growing in my belly? I want to be happy out my up coming baby, not spend the next 6 months miserable & wishing it would all just be over! :( 
PLEASE I DO NOT NEED TO BE JUDGED FOR THE WAY I'M FEELING, IT'S HARD ENOUGH AS IT IS FOR ME TO DEAL WITH.