Sad ..

Nobody has any idea how sad I am. I hate my life. I've been depressed since 7th grade and now I'm second year university. It's really exhausting being such a sad person. I want to die most days, I just can't bring myself to do it because I wouldn't want my roommates to find me that way or for my mom to find me that way. I wouldn't want my SO to think it was his fault although he hasn't been helping lately. I want to cut myself but I don't want my SO to see them. It's such a battle. I miss him so much and lately we haven't been able to see each other often and it's really upsetting me. He's the only one I have to talk to about my problems and he's not even there for me. He's too busy playing video games or hanging out with his friends.